man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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