sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
