you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's JV to your varsity
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
