so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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