so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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