Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
