I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
