I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have aggressive nipples.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
