umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
