There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
