Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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