I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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