Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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