I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
