I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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