there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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