Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
