I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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