Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
