Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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