Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
