maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no you cant smoke seaweed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
