I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
