I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
