I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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