Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
