I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
