ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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