This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
