Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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