he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
