I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
