what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
