I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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