Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
