That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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