does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
