i was born a porn star she said
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
