My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
