i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
