i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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