Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
