If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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