other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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