Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Me too!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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