so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
