Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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