I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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