lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
