totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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