I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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