Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
