that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
whose parrot is this?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
